A comprehensive guide to gentlemanly driving. From delegating the tiresome maintenance of your vehicle, to sartorial advice for the finest motoring get-up, Vic Darkwood shows you how to reclaim the adventure of motoring.
Hardcover, 176 pages
Published October
10th 2012 by Aa Publishing (first published June 1st 2012)
LUX FIX Studio
May 23, 2012
‘The Gentleman’s
Guide to Motoring’, by Vic Darkwood
In comparison with
the golden age of motoring which occurred between the world wars,
driving a car these days has become at best a vulgar, humdrum chore
and at worst an exasperating and life-threatening imposition. Despite
the exaggerated claims of car manufacturers and advances in car
technology over the last quarter century, something seems to have
been lost along the way – namely, ‘style’.
My forthcoming book,
The Gentleman’s Guide to Motoring, attempts to reclaim the art of
driving a motorcar as the sanctified mission of a gentleman. Here
then are some invaluable nuggets of advice for those wishing to
prepare for a stylish motoring jaunt.
Naturally, the first
necessity of any motoring trip is an unutterably beautiful vehicle in
which to be seen. Those with a taste for luxury and a spare £1.7
million might consider the 1947 Bentley Mark VI Drophead Coupé with
custom bodywork by Franay, coachbuilders of Paris, which not only
boasts a built-in bespoke bar cabinet complete with glasses and
silver flasks, but also a bright red interior made entirely from frog
skin.
For those of more
modest means all is not lost, even a humble Morris Minor or nifty
Triumph Vitesse have the requisite je ne sais quoi for those striving
for a little panache. Whatever your budget, on no account allow
yourself to be seduced by any vehicle constructed after 1973, as this
is when the art of car design died. After this year all cars began to
resemble hoovers and absolutely nothing could induce a gentleman of
quality to suffer the indignity of travelling in a domestic appliance
Next a gent will ask
himself ‘What in the devil should I wear?’ The short answer to
this is ‘tweed’; with, perhaps, an array of vintage leather
accessories. Again, the well-heeled among us might wish to commission
a bespoke motoring outfit from a reputable expeditionary tailor such
as Norton & Sons of Savile Row or a cheaper option would be a
second-hand clothiers specializing in tweed such as Hornets of
Kensington Church Street. For those with an open topped vehicle,
motoring gauntlets, a pair of motoring goggles and secure headgear
are of course de rigueur. Ladies may preserve their complexions by
wearing a full chamois-leather face mask as advertised in a1902
edition of The Autocar magazine. The approved look for both gent and
lady can be seen below.
Another essential
accessory when driving in open topped vehicles is a Windshield Pipe.
It was originally designed in 1905 by Alfred Dunhill as a method of
keeping one’s pipe alight in the face of savage wind currents, but
sadly only vintage examples are now available at prices well-over
£1000. Luckily, I was able to pick up this ‘Hurricane Standard’
1940s briar and Bakelite model for under a fiver on eBay lately and I
am therefore now fully equipped to enjoy a bowl of shag at breakneck
velocity.
Further windproofing
of the gentleman can be achieved by wearing a moustache snood. There
is very little point in a gent sculpting his tash to aesthetic
perfection if it is to be buffeted to blazes within minutes of
hitting the highway. To protect the integrity of his handlebar a
snood or moustache band should be warn. I have found one manufactured
by Stern (the Bartbinde) available on-line from Barbe & Co at
the exceedingly reasonable price of £18.53
A final essential is
of course a picnic hamper. The driver who doesn’t wish to be
humiliated by being forced to visit motorway service eateries and
fastfood outlets should always have a well-stocked hamper in his
boot. This should be designed along the lines of the Motor Tea Basket
as featured the Army and Navy Stores Catalogue from 1907. Thankfully,
hampers are still easy to find. My recommendation is the Fortnum and
Mason ‘Belgravia’ Hamper. A snip at £500. Let’s hope this
mention might induce them to send me one.
Vic Darkwood (below)
is the co-founder of The Chap magazine and co-author of The Chap
Manifesto. His latest solo book, The Gentleman’s Guide to Motoring.
(published by AA Publications) is out June 1st 2012. RRP £9.99.
VIC DARKWOOD ON 'THE
GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO MOTORING'
BOOKS
JUN 8, 2012
Vic Darkwood shows
how a gentleman only considers automobile style and 'what the devil
to wear' when motoring about town
It’s so easy to
do. You slump down in front of the box on a Sunday night in the
process of digesting a surfeit of roast chicken, and before you know
it you have accidentally bumbled into a tawdry edition of Top Gear
and, robbed of the willpower to change channels by the soporific
effects of gastric juices, you actually watch it.
Before long you
might easily come to the conclusion that appreciation of the motor
car is the exclusive preserve of robustly blokey individuals –
middle-aged men dressed in blouson leather jackets and denim
trousers, waxing lyrical over trivia such as horsepower, petrol
consumption and nought-to-sixty-isms.
But before you allow
yourself to become alienated by the witterings of ‘petrol heads’,
it is reassuring to know that they don’t have a monopoly on motor
vehicles. A fellow blessed with an independence of mind, poetry in
his soul and vim in his trousers, namely ‘a gentleman’, also has
strong opinions on the subject.
Unlike those who
sully themselves with vulgar notions of turbo-charging and
fuel-injection, the gentleman only has three questions: How does she
look? Does she go some? And what in the devil’s name should I wear?
To the first of
these questions the answer should of course be, as stylish as hell.
Any gentleman worth his salt would rather sell his eye teeth than
consider being seen in a vehicle of post-1973 construction (1973
being when the art of car design effectively died).
With access to
unlimited funds, the only possible choice for a gentleman driver
would be a 1938 Hispano-Suiza H6C Saoutchik Xenia Coupé, a car so
preposterously stylish that PG Wodehouse selected it as the car of
choice of the Emsworth family in his tales of Blandings Castle.
Such a car is
designed to be driven around in rather than to actually drive
yourself, but for those of more modest means, all is not lost. Don’t
give a second glance to dull and dreary budget modern cars, but go
instead for a trusty Morris Minor or a brisk Triumph Vitesse.
To the second
question, the gent pays but fleeting regard. A gentleman motorist
only requires two speeds: a ‘moderate tootle’ for when he wishes
to be seen about town or a ‘fair old lick’ when he needs to get
from A to B as fast as is humanly possible. Anything more technical
and a gent’s eyes are apt to glaze over.
To the third of his
queries, the gentleman motorist will obviously lavish a great deal of
time and attention. Buying a new car should be seen as an excuse to
acquire an entirely new wardrobe and range of accessories. These will
vary based on the design and vintage of your vehicle – for those
with open topped models, gauntlet gloves, goggles and tweeds are de
rigueur.
A particularly
pressing concern of the gent will be his need to keep his pipe alight
when travelling in an open topped car. A solution to this vexing
problem was invented by Alfred Dunhill, the patron saint of motoring
accessories, in 1905 – namely the Windshield Pipe. These days it is
only possible to purchase the original article at great expense, but
surely it is time its manufacture was resumed.
So next time you
inadvertently stumble upon depressingly laddish Sunday night TV,
don’t assume that cars aren’t for you. Brash Clarksonite
car-culture might be a crashing bore, but that does not mean that the
aesthetics and practice of motoring cannot be approached from a very
different angle.
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